and they all fell down
by a beautiful catastrophe
Summary: he was there, then he was gone. the scent of coffee and cigarettes that made lily feel like she was at home would never waft through the closed doors of the potter family's house again.


**and they all fell down  
**_for lady_

* * *

Lily tip-toes down the corridor, before pressing her ear to the wall. She hears muffled voices.

"Can't you just stay home for one day, Harry? Surely, the Ministry will understand."

"Ginny, you know I can't. I would if I could, but they require me to be at work, we've got a new project, and the deadline is incredibly close."

"Please, Harry. Just one small day. For Al, Lily and James. For me. Please."

"I wish I could, Gin."

"Are you getting yourself more work so that you can spend more time at the office?"

A pause.

"What?"

"You want to get more work for yourself so you can spend more time away from me, am I right? You don't love me any more, do you? Admit it."

"Just because I spend more time at the Ministry nowadays, doesn't mean that I don't love you. I have to make a living to keep the family up and going, you know. I work hard to ensure that you all have dinner every night. And what do you do, Ginny?"

He raises his voice.

"What do you do to help the family? You cook for us, but where does the money to buy the ingredients used in the dish you made come from? Me! Don't you- Oh, Merlin. Ginny, I'm so sorry. I got carried away. I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's alright, Harry. Please don't yell, the kids are sleeping."

"Sorry, I'll be quieter. And no, it's not alright. I'll take the day off work tomorrow to make it up to you. I'll call in sick."

"But-"

"Ginny."

"Harry."

"I'm calling in sick."

"I thought you had a very important project to finish?"

"Hell to the project."

Lily tip-toes back to her room, smiling.

_Dad is home for a day. This is great, _she thinks.

* * *

For one day, the Potter family is whole.

The next day, it breaks again.

* * *

Lily listens again. She always does.

"Do you know what, Ginny? I have to finish all this work I missed, even though I called in sick! This is bloody all your fault!"

"My fault? I didn't force you to take the day off, Harry!"

"You convinced me to! You...Godric, Ginny! Damnit! I could lose my job! If I don't get all the paperwork done, they'll fire me!"

"Do you forget, Harry, that you're The Boy Who Lived? Harry Potter, the Savior of the Wizarding World!"

"No, I don't forget that I happened to defeat Voldemort. But saving the Wizarding World is just not a good enough excuse anymore, Ginny."

"You _happened_ to defeat Voldemort? You were _chosen_!"

"I was just a teenager. A teenager with a tragic backstory, who everyone pitied. No greater, no less. The story of Voldemort and I is just a fairytale now - something that happened a long time ago, and repeating it won't help me get anywhere."

"Who are you, Harry?"

"What sort of question is that? I am who I am, and I am who I was, and I am who I will always be."

"That's not the answer I was looking for."

"That's the only answer worth giving."

"No, it isn't! Harry, what happened to you? What happened to the wizard who I fell in love with? What happened to that kind, smart, loving man?"

"That naive boy? He grew up."

"Well, I want him back. He was the one I fell in love with. Not you."

"Ginny. Stop being so childish. We're not teenagers anymore, why bother with the drama?"

"Harry, I think we should split up."

Lily can't bear to hear what comes next. She runs back to her room.

She cries silently, and wonders, _what kind of teenage witch cries themself to sleep at night?_

* * *

Ginny wants custody of the children.

Harry does too.

_He's the Boy Who Lived, how on Merlin's earth am I supposed to win this battle? _Ginny thinks.

But then she remembers that he said, even though he saved the Wizarding World, the Ministry isn't in his favour.

She hopes that because of that, maybe she'll get custody. Just maybe.

And she does.

* * *

Ginny knows, without Harry's income, she can't support them all financially.

So she starts working as a waitress at a dodgy bar, a few streets away.

When she gets owled her first weekly pay, she opens the envelope to see twenty-something galleons and a few sickles.

It's not enough for all the luxuries they used to have, but it's enough.

* * *

Lily notices, day by day, Ginny gets more tired from working late. She rises early, and sleeps late. Lily almost never sees her in the house.

James starts working, so she doesn't see much of him either.

Albus moves out - he finds a nice flat in Muggle London that he asks Lily to help him decorate.

And while she helps him, they talk.

"Mum's so tired, nowadays, Al. She's getting older, and I don't think she'll be able to handle working much longer." She says, running her hands through her auburn hair.

"I know." Al wipes the counter clean, with a pine scented wipe. "She looks so weary all the time. But she's only doing her best to make a living. To make sure that you and James get to eat something everyday, you know."

"You sound so much like Dad, Al, do you know that? I miss him."

He frowns. "I wish people would stop saying that I'm like Dad. I'm not him, he's not me. And how can you miss him? He abandoned us. He abandoned me. He abandoned you and James. And worst of all, he abandoned _Mum_. How do you still like him, Lils? How?"

"He did not abandon us, Al. Mum just doesn't want us to see him, nor does the Ministry. She wants him to figure that we're better off without him - Mum and her pride."

"Maybe, Lily, Mum is right, and we are better off without him. Well, I think Mum is right," Al bites his upper lip before continuing, "and James agrees."

"When did you talk to James? He's never around." Lily asks, curiously.

"I get a take-away coffee at the coffee shop where he works at now and then. James works as the barista, but I'm pretty sure he told you that. He gives me discounts and coupons, stuff like that." Al shrugs nonchalantly.

"How is he?"

"He's tired, stressed, but nonetheless, he's James, and he's strong. You know how he is, putting everyone before himself."

"Yeah. Can we go visit him now?" Lily glances at her watch. "He should be working now."

"Sure, let's go."

* * *

"How are are my favourite siblings?" James asks, his eyes twinkling, "Can I have a hug, Lily?"

Lily moves closer to James, and he wraps his arms around her. James smells like a mixture of coffee and cigarettes, and to Lily, it's a comforting scent, it smells like home.

"You mean your only siblings?" Al, asks, smiling.

"My favourite ones, nonetheless." James says. "What can I get you guys? Dine-in or takeaway?"

"Dine-in." Al and Lily say at the exact same time.

James chuckles. "Well, that's a surprise from you, Al. Though you'd ask for a take-away coffee like you usually do."

"I've been eyeing the cakes for a while, now actually. Why not sit down and try them?" Al grins.

"You and your sweets. Somethings never change. How about I'll get you our specialty cake?" James smiles, and Al nods. "Anything for you, Lils?"

"Skinny latte, please." she says.

"I'll be back with your drinks in a minute, you two." James scratches his head as if he's forgetting something. "Oh. And Lily, can you tell Mum that I'll be going out tonight and coming back late, or maybe even tomorrow."

"Sure." Lily nods.

* * *

James doesn't come home that night.

Or the night after that.

Or the one after that.

* * *

A week later, they find a body in a stream.

The body is James Sirius Potter.

The people examining the body say it wasn't accidental - it was most definitely a suicide. They say his pockets were filled with pebbles and stones, and he drowned.

Lily cries.

So does Al.

Ginny doesn't.

* * *

That night, when Ginny thinks Lily is asleep, she starts to cry.

"I'm trying, trying, I swear..." she sobs, into the sleeve of her sweater.

Ginny cries. She cries that James is gone. She cries that she can't pay enough for a half-decent funeral. She cries that her income is low. She cries in hope that Al and Lily won't take the same path as James. She cries that James didn't even leave a note. She cries that she is a mother to one less child. She cries that Harry has moved on to someone else and she hasn't. She cries because she's not okay.

She cries.

And Lily hears, like she always does.

* * *

Not every story ends with a 'happily ever after'.

The Potter family's story certainly didn't. In the end, they all fell down.

* * *

**a/n: ****this is for lady (lady phoenix fire rose) who is absolutely lovely. go check her profile out!**

******i'm actually kind of scared of the feedback i'll get for this. i've never written anything remotely close to what i've written here - i don't usually write overpowering!harry or angsty!ginny or suicidal!james or normal!lily and al is just al. okay. i don't really know if i like this or not...please leave a review and tell me if you liked it, loved it, or even hated it.**

******thank you so much!**


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